the question as of late.

how do i feel about my internship..

i think i had a much greater idea in my head than what has come to pass. i pictured myself, wearing the red cross volunteer vest, working with disaster clients to clean up their homes and provide blankets, food, water, etc when they needed it most. i wanted to give emotional support. to hear their stories and offer hope...

however, because i am an intern, i lack the qualified skills to go out to this disaster relief areas and help these people and this makes me so sad. it's like a chunk of my experience is missing... instead, i sit in the office and take disaster client phone calls, and connect them with people who can hopefully help them more than i ever could from behind a computer. (i know for sure i don't want a desk job after this). i make spreadsheets and print things and copy other things. i file and organize things. i call volunteers for shifts and such. i help others so they can help the people who need it most. i learn all about how things work behind the scenes. it's so educational and insightful. it makes me want to DO something.

i want to help.
i want to be involved.
i want to make a difference.

i took this PR course and fell in love. finally, a career that allows me to be connected with everything i've ever dreamed of - government, organizations, the media, the people... all working together! all communicating and helping the people of this world in times of need! i loooved it.

but then i think about counseling. and healthcare. and every other career i've ever dreamed of... why must i brainstorm so much??

i graduate in a year, and i have absolutely no idea what my life will look like when that happens.
my life is an blank canvas just waiting to be filled with brilliant ideas.

grad school?
internship?
big girl job in the city?
relaxing in small town with friends?

i have no idea.
which makes answering the question:: "so what are your plans after graduation?" :: seem so darn challenging.

one day a time, brittney. it will all work out.